If only he’d told her

A story of strength and tenderness

By Katherine Markland

If only he’d told her is the story of Emma, who at the age of 32, loses her boyfriend to cancer. Their relationship before his death, though, was difficult, and Emma is left with one important unanswered question – did he really love her?

Beginning at the funeral, the story moves forwards in time as she comes to terms with her loss, and backwards in time as Emma untangles a complex relationship overshadowed by a terminal illness. Tested to breaking point, she and Mark demonstrate the courage and kindness they have for each other, but also the courage and kindness that they both need, and only by understanding the love that they shared, will Emma be able to move forward. From the loss and emptiness surrounding death, the injustice of illness and failed treatment, to the hope and strength provided by love, this is an emotional, but ultimately uplifting account, with elements that will speak to us all.

This is a story of the strength and tenderness in us all, but the need for strength and tenderness too.


Katherine Markland lives in Dorset with her two cats. At the age of 32, she lost her boyfriend to cancer. Based largely on her own true story, If only he’d told her recounts her journey through grief, to find that love does exist after all. Written from her own recollections, her interpretation of these, and some fictional additions, her journey was aided by the writing process, and she hopes the finished product may aid others too.


Grateful thanks are extended to Catherine Cousins and her team at 2QT Limited Publishing for their help, support and encouragement throughout the publishing process.

2QT Limited Publishing
United Kingdom

The right of Katherine Markland to be identified as author
of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988

The events in this story are based on real events and described according to the author’s recollections of the events and individuals mentioned, and are in no way intended to mislead or offend. As such the publisher does not hold any responsibility for any inaccuracies or opinions expressed by the author. Any enquiries should be directed to the author.

Printed by IngramSpark UK Ltd

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available
from the British Library
ISBN 978-1-914083-19-8

Also available as an eBook
ISBN 978-1-914083-20-4